Sick...Tired...Struggles...Blessings

1. SICK: Ahhhh what a wonderful thing to be sick (sarcasm all over the place) ... our family has been hit with the sick bug since just after Thanksgiving. Tyler and I picked up something from Thanksgiving. We got better. Then Tyler picked up something from Nursery at Church. It went from Tyler to Rodger to me. Everyone else is basically better... I am still not... It is so hard to be sick with a newborn. So far Lincoln hasn't gotten sick. I pray he doesn't. This is RSV in the making for a newborn. I keep praying the "Mommas Milk" will keep him healthy. So far so good. Being sick is sucking all the energy out of me (hence the #2 point of being Tired) and making it so much more difficult to get anything done. Don't come to my house.... IT IS A WRECK! I think a "tornado" hit again!

2. TIRED: It is enough to have a newborn causing the wonderful sleep deprivation. Adding being sick on top of it makes it even worse. I LOVE SLEEP DEPRIVATION! It does wonderful things to your brain and body. It helps with patience and gives you the ability to get so much done. Ummm... yea... right. I hope that Point #1 goes away asap so that Point #2 improves. It is hard to not have a functioning brain.

3. STRUGGLES: I won't dive into this Point much... But as a friend said specifically about dealing with grief, but I would also like to incorporate this into all struggles: "I have also noticed in myself and others that illness of any kind seems to magnify grief [and struggles]. I think when we are ill our defenses are down and it is so easy to fall back into the dark. My grief [and struggles] was horrible last year when I was pregnant and so ill all the time.....I couldn't see past the end of my bed, could barely take care of myself, could hardly take care of my family. Everything seems more doable when we are well!"

I agree with my friend. I have found that since I have been sick that the struggles we are having, financially and dealing with grief during the holiday seasons, just seems to compound with Point #1 and Point #2 taking place.

Some of the struggles are not mine, specifically, but they impact me a lot as some of the struggles are those of someone so close to my heart and whom I love with all of my heart. Not knowing how to help... Not knowing what to do... makes it so much harder for me. Then when I throw my own struggles (as mentioned above) I feel even more overwhelmed. I feel sad because I want to go out and love and serve others, as that makes me so happy, and yet I am becoming so overwhelmed with Points #1, #2, and #3 that I feel I can't love and serve others like I want to. :(

4. BLESSINGS: Even with Points #1, #2, and #3 I am trying to see all the blessings in my life. One of my blessings is that of my children, even though the oldest, Parker, is assisting in Point #3 as I continue to miss him and wish I could hold him in my arms; even though the second oldest brought home the illness that caused Point #1, and even though the youngest is assisting greatly in Point #2 ... I still love them with all of my heart :). I am so grateful for them. We will continue to learn and grow from Point #3 and Point #1 and #2 won't last forever... but Point #4 will. It is hard sometimes to always see Point #4 when you are faced with the other Points. It depends on the moment.

I would love to have a period of time without the struggles... I feel the struggles keep coming. Is it possible to have a break from struggles?