A Few More Funny Things

A few more things I have written down of things Tyler says or does:

1. When Tyler would try to do something that required several steps to complete the task at hand he would say "I got!" instead of "I forgot". I loved it when he did this. He was so enthusiastic as he proclaimed he forgot something. He would concentrate and do it again until he got it right. "I got"... I miss him saying that.

2. Tyler has a hard time with saying the word Elephant. We went to the Hogle Zoo to see the baby elephant (the baby elephant is soooooooooooooo cute by the way). Anyways, he would call it an Efanant instead of Elephant. There is another word he has as hard time saying too and I can't remember what it is. When I remember I will put it on here.. because it is sooooo cool how he says it.

3. Here is a story about Tyler... I LOVE it and cracks me up is. Here is the story: About two months ago Tyler I was going to carry something. Tyler wanted to help so I let him. As he struggled to carry it he said "I have strong elbows huh mommy?" I laughed and said "Yes, Tyler you have very strong elbows." He then flexed his muscles. Periodically as he carries things that are "heavy" he will proclaim that he has "strong elbows". I love it! What a cool kid! Who knew it was our elbows that needed to be strong enough!

4. We have a playground outside our condo. Tyler loves to play outside with his friends. Whenever he sees anyone out there he wants to go out and play with them. One day his friends were all gone to the stores or taking naps so he was all alone. I went outside with him and he played. He decided to build a temple out of wood chips. So he started making his pile higher and higher. As it got bigger he said "I need my trophy". I said, "you need a trophy?" He said "Yes, for me temple". I said "Ohhhhhhhhhhh you need a statue for the Angel Moroni?" He said "Yes". I laughed and helped him find a pine cone which he then put on his temple. He made several temples throughout the playground. He did get a little emotional later when some of the kids were playing and ruined his temples... but I told him he could just build more.

One time his next door neighbors were helping him build a temple and they even pulled all the weeds that were growing in the wood chips and used them as trees that went around the temple. I love the imagination of kids!


An update on Lincoln... He is a walking fool now. He walks basically all the time now. He started walking fairly well right at 10 months of age, but he couldn't stand up in the middle of the room. Over the past several days he is perfecting that now. He even likes to try and turn around in circles in the middle of the room trying to make himself dizzy! It is fun to see him growing up. I love you Linkers!

Happy Birthday, Rodger

Ok, I am a few days late, but Rodger's birthday was on Sunday. He has to work on Sunday's now, so we made his birthday cake last night.

Here are photographs of all sides of his cake:

My friend Rickelle helped too. She is the best and helped me a lot. She is wanting to learn how to make cakes just like I do. Thanks Rickelle!

Me and Tyler waiting for Rodger to come home from work so we can give him his cake!

Happy Birthday, Daddy!!!

Happy Birthday, Rodger! We love you!

Photographs from Preschool

Ok...so it took me a bit to get the photographs up. Here they are:

This is Tyler and Ami before we went to preschool.

This is Tyler and Ami before heading into their preschool. Ummmm... Ami is a little bigger then Tyler. Who would know Tyler is three months older. Ami's big hair doesn't help either, LOL.

This is Tyler and Ami showing us their backpacks.

This is Tyler and Ami working on their first project. They made name mosaics.

This is Tyler and Ami very focused on their project.

Just a quick little story:
Today Tyler got to be the Super Citizen (Ami said he was the Super Cinnamon, LOL) because Tyler did a good job at cleaning up and sharing. He got to wear a crown and hold the flag during the Pledge of Allegiance. Good job Tyler!

First Day of School

Tyler had his first day of preschool today. He was soooooooooo excited to go to preschool. He wants to paint so badly. Afterwards he said he loved it but that he didn't get to paint. I told him he doesn't get to paint every day, but that he will sometimes. He was sort of ok with that.

I will post the photographs of him with Ami on their first day at Wonderland Academy with Mrs. Heap. The day before we were at Lori's when my dad gave Ami a father's blessing (since Friday is doing military training) for her first day of school. My dad asked Tyler who his teacher was and he said "Mrs. Heap". My dad said "You mean Heaps?" Tyler said, "No. Mrs. Heap" What a smart boy. It is fun to see him growing up.

I love you Tyler!

Letting Go...

It was so much harder then I thought it would be. I thought I was prepping myself ok for this day. I was wrong.

The day finally came for me to say "Goodbye" to carseats. You may think this is silly. It was way harder then I thought it would be. On July 12th I finally became "OK" in moving Lincoln into a new car seat. I should have moved him a month prior, but I just couldn't do it. It was hard to know I had to part with something that was Parker's; that Parker sat in; that Parker came home from the hospital in; that Parker threw up in; that Parker cried in; that Parker went to the Primary Children's in; that Parker laughed in; that Parker existed in... I knew I had to move Lincoln to a bigger car seat to keep him safe. So I took some photographs and said my goodbyes. My three boys all got to use this car seat. So many memories.

We kept the car seat in out house because we wanted to find a place to recycle it. This actually helped me to be OK with giving it away and part with it. Recently we got an item in the mail from ToysRUs that you can turn in your old car seats before Sept 20th and you can get 20% off. Lori needed another carseat and Tyler's car seat was expiring in February and needed a new one soon. I was excited to be able to get 20% off since any money off helps when money is hard to come by. So we went to the store this evening. I took the kids into the store and Lori watched them while I got another cart and went out to get the car seats. As I took Tyler's car seat out I immediately felt sick. I wanted to throw up. The realization that ONE MORE BLASTED THING that was Parker's I had to part with. WHY? Why can't we hang onto everything? I don't have enough room to hold onto two car seats. I can't hang onto everything. But I HATE that I have to lose one more thing my son sat in. Proof of his existence. I stayed quiet in the store. When we got to the front to turn in the car seats I broke down crying. I hated that I was crying because I hated that my son wasn't with me. I hated that I couldn't have him back in my arms. It has been over four years now and tonight felt just as fresh as when he died.

I gotta do my part to keep the commandments. I need my family together forever.

Parker? I am sorry I couldn't hang onto the car seats forever. I am sorry I can't buckle you in today. I am sorry I can't see your smile from the rear view mirror. I am sorry I can't hear you say "Bright. Bright" as the sun blast you in the eyes as you sit in the car. I am glad you are my son and that I am your mother.

Saying goodbye to one more thing. What will be next? There aren't many things left unfortunately. I will hold onto what I can.



This is Parker's first car seat. We moved Tyler into a bigger car seat Lori used with Ami and Enoch.



This is Tyler in Parker's last car seat. Lincoln is in his bigger car seat. They love being together. This is a photograph I wish I could have had with Parker and Tyler. Alas.

Saying goodbye.

Silly Things

Here are a few things I wanted to share... some happened a while ago, so I hope I can remember the timeline:

1. Words of Tyler:
Back in January (sheesh... I know it is seven months later... give me a break, at least I wrote them down, LOL) Tyler said a lot of funny things. Here are the things I wrote down.

• a baseball is called a baseball bat
• a spaceship is called Spaceship rock (combining rocket ship with spaceship)
• when Tyler would thank you for helping him he would say "dee doo help me". I remember a time when he was trying to carry something and struggling a little. I smiled as he struggled and picked it up and picked him up as well. He said "Dee doo help me carry me" and gave me a hug. It was so adorable.
• For Christmas we bought Tyler some children's tools. He calls them his "own tools". Why does he call them his "own tools" and not just "tools"? Well Tyler's friend, Anthony, who lives next door has some tools. Tyler LOVES to play with them. One day I was over there and I asked him if he wanted his own tools. He said Yes! From then on he calls them his "own tools". I love it! Sometimes if we are watching TV and they are fixing things he will get his "own tools" and fix things with them. He will be a fix it man like his daddy!
• when something is broken he would say "it's broten. It's broten mommy" :D
• If he broke something he would say "I brotit" for I broke it.
• When Tyler accomplished something he would say "Ta Da!" and sometimes bow too. I miss him doing that.
• Sometimes when Tyler would do things I would say "you make me so happy!". He would give me a hug. In time he would do something good and he would say "I so happy you" meaning I make you so happy. I would say... yes you do and give him the biggest hug. I love Tyler! You do make me happy.
• A soccer ball is called a "soccer game"
• A football is called a "football man"
• A girl is pronounced "gwil"
• Other way is pronounced "a way"
• We buy the yummy Western Family yogurt (pre-mixed of course). We love it. Anyways, the yogurt container has cow spots on it. So, Tyler calls it "cowboy yogurt". The milk that has the cow spots on it is "cowboy milk" LOL.

Ahhh the cute things from kids. I wish I wrote down more! What a cool kid.

2. Cute story from Tyler.
In May Tyler would wake up and sing me the good morning song (I think he got it from the show Little Bill or maybe nursery?). He would come see me and sing:
Good morning, good morning we welcome you today.
Good morning, good morning we welcome you today.
Each morning I would say, where is my good morning song? He would sing to me.
On the morning of May 29th he came into the computer room where I had been working and I asked him for the good morning song. He said "I don't want to sing the good morning song!" I laughed so hard and gave him a hug.

Now when Tyler wakes up he comes and finds us and says "It's morning day!!!" I love it! Sometimes when I try and get him to take a nap he says "But it is morning day!" I say Yes, but we can rest on morning day. Lucky us, huh? :D

3. Lincoln loves to carry small soccer balls around in his mouth.
They are more cloth-ish and not foam so you don't have to worry about chunks of foam ending up in his mouth. He crawls around with them a lot! Here is a cute photograph of him just the other day. (Look his hair is sort of sprouting too!)



I will try and backtrack through photographs and write down more stuff in the coming weeks. It is fun to remember things.

First Day of School... Not Yet...

Today Parker would have started Kindergarten. I remember when he was little, really before he was even born, I was so excited to one day be able to take Parker to Kindergarten and get him his first backpack! Alas... the day is not here as I have missed my little boy for over four years now. I try to remember the good times and not reflect on missing him... but it is SO hard!

On July 15th, Parker's Angel Day, we didn't know what to get for Parker for the cemetary. The last couple of years we have tried to get things for Parker that in turn "Parker" would give to one of his siblings. I think we will have July 15th be a present to Tyler and October 28th, Parker's birthday, to Lincoln. December will be to the family with Parker's Christmas Village. As we eventually have more children we will vary it up? or something? or who knows.

Anyways, we didn't know what to get for Parker on July 15th. We looked around the store... nothing felt right, or it wouldn't work with the weather, or whatever. We were running out of time because Rodger had to get to work. We were stressed. Not happy as we were missing Parker so much. Then at the end I saw school supplies. I thought... that is it!!! Parker would be going into Kindergarten. We should get him a backpack and supplies!!!!!!!! So we did!

We bought Parker his first backpack and a notebook, dry erase markers and eraser and a white board that helps them write letters and numbers, etc. At the cemetary we gave it to Parker. Then we told Tyler Parker wanted to tell him something. Tyler went over and said "What Parker?" I said "Did you hear him? He said he wants to give you the backpack and stuff so you can be ready for Preschool!" He said "Oh wow. Thank you, Parker!" He immediately put all the stuff in the backpack and put it on and said "Thank you, Parker!"









It made things a little easier that day. Still hard knowing we are missing all of these new steps and stages with Parker... I try to be happy. I just miss my son.




I love my Kindergartener!

Conglomerate

There are a few things I have been meaning to put up on our blog... crazy busy lately:

1. Around the 19th-ish of July Lincoln had his 7th tooth come through. I am mostly glad his top two teeth came through fairly fast so he wasn't a vampire for too long. Tyler was a vampire for a VERY long time and it was funny. Lincoln is getting more stable with help while walking. I wonder if he will walk around 10 months like his two brothers... we will see. He sure loves to pull himself up to EVERYTHING and loves to walk with help.

2. A funny story... on August 1st, late at night, Tyler was laying on my legs while we watched TV on the couch. All of a sudden he started to cry a little bit. I asked him what was wrong. He said "My heart!" I said "What is wrong with your heart." With his hand on his chest he said "My heart is gone!" Rodger and I started to laugh a little bit. It was so cute. I said "Your heart is fine." He said "I can't feel my heart!" I said "Your heart is fine. Do you want me to help you find it?" He nodded with tears on his face. I was trying not to laugh because he was definitely worried, but it was hilarious. So I took his hand and put it a little lower and said "Do you feel it now?" He said "Yes." with relief on his face. I said with a smile on my face, "Tyler, the good thing is, as long as you are breathing your heart is working." He said "Ok Mommy". What a cute boy (or as he would say "I am not cute. I am handsome. You are beautiful and georgeous")!

3. Most of all I want to put on my blog how grateful I am to be married to Rodger. We had our 7 year anniversary on July 27th. We have been through a lot in our marriage. I hope we have become better people because of it all.

I am glad Rodger contacted me in 2002. He was living in Cincinnati at the time, so I would have never known he existed. I am glad he served a mission here in Provo so he had the desire to come back to Utah and go to school. If it weren't for all of that he would have never contacted me back in March 2002 and wanted to get to know me. 4 1/2 months later we were married. Yeah! I am so grateful for the blessings of the temple. Because of the temple, if we keep the commandments, we can be together forever... and that will be the gratest blessing ever... to stand hand in hand with Rodger and our children forever. Thank you for being my husband, Rodger! I love you with all of my heart!

Raw Emotion

Today at 9:42am Tyler is now twice as old as Parker. Sigh. The other day my mom or my dad (I can't remember which) mentioned they thought Tyler was approaching the age where he would be twice as old as when Parker died. I hadn't really thought about that... but as I calculated I realized it was getting quite close. It was hard to think about.

I went to http://www.timeanddate.com/date/duration.html and put in the date and time of birth and death for Parker and then put in Tyler's date and time of birth and found it was today, July 25, 2009 at 9:42am. I am grateful I have Tyler and Lincoln to hold in my arms. In a lot of ways they make it easier and yet having them in my arms makes me miss Parker even more as I imagine what they would all be doing together and how I wish I had three children in my car instead of two. Where I wish I had three children to balance schedules, eating, changing diapers, giving baths, etc. Where I wish I could take Parker to get his Kindergarten shots right now. Where I wish... where I wish...

On July 21st I was putting up some photographs of Parker into the boys room. I had one collage down and Tyler was looking at it. He started to cry. There was so much raw emotion pouring out of Tyler. I wanted to cry so badly. After a few minutes of him crying, and his face right against the photograph, it came to my mind to video Tyler. So I snuck out of the room and grabbed the camera and came back in and started videoing. He realized after not too long that I was videoing, but it didn't seem to affect his emotions he was showing. I wish I could have had the first few minutes as it was SO raw... but I am so glad I got the rest of this.

It is about 7 minutes long. Turn up your volume.



(After watching the video back I realized the part about going for a walk... what he was really saying was he wanted to sing him the song Teach Me To Walk. That is what he sings to Lincoln when Lincoln is sad. Tyler is a sweet, sweet boy)

And They Come In Two By Two

Between July 15-18th Lincoln had two more teeth join his mouth. He officially has six teeth. Congrats Lincoln!!!!