Here is Parker on February 4, 2005 at my twin sisters wedding. Parker has such a great relationship with Lori and Friday. At the wedding they had a fountain. Parker was EVERYWHERE at the wedding reception. He almost fell in the fountain twice. Crazy boy!
Memorial Day weekend 2005 we went camping up at Mantua, UT. It is a trip I will NEVER forget. The memories of Parker throwing every rock he could find, running around constantly and drooling (that is a quality I passed onto him), and the rain storm where he slept right next to my face all night long so he would stay warm and safe. The three of us were crammed in a two man tent. He loved the puddles in the morning too!
Our family photograph... The one thing I would hope people would do more is take lots of photographs and video. You never know what could happen. I cherish the memories those images bring to me. I wish I had photographs of every moment of his life....
Saturday was another hard day. I was 8 weeks pregnant and the last thing I wanted to do was to worry about what I was going to eat. Nothing sounded good. I didn't want to eat. All I wanted to do was have it be a same day surgery yesterday and not see my son laying in this bed with huge tubes coming out of his neck. All I wanted to do was take Parker to the zoo on Friday and be worn out from showing him the giraffes, monkeys, and penguins for the first time. Instead we were worn out from both of us being cramped on a regular sized bed together and trying to sleep, not knowing if they would wake us with bad news. They have a small lobby area that has about 10 little private rooms where a parent can stay and get some rest and still be really close by to be with their child. We were lucky they had a room available. We stayed up late to sit by Parker's side. We didn't want to leave his side at all but we were so exhausted. I was exhausted from being in the first trimester of the pregancy as well. I was emotionally drained. My active and smart little boy was laying there. What would happen?
Saturday we, along with a lot of family and some friends, took turns at Parker's side. He was on a lot of medication to keep him calm and allow his body to recover from the trauma of the day before. They hoped the ECMO machine , and keeping him medicated, would allow his body to rest and heal. From there they would continue to run tests and assess what happened to our son.
As you could see from yesterdays photographs with all the monitoring devices on Parker's head(I can't remember what they are called)... Parker was having seizures. That can happen a lot when there is serious brain damage. We prayed this wasn't the case, but with the length of time his heart was stopped we knew there was an unknown to the amount. We were trying to have faith our son would be blessed. They couldn't do an MRI on our son yet, because the ECMO has a lot of metal on it. Until they could get him off the ECMO machine they could not perform this test. The MRI would be the telling test for us. They ran every test they could. We began to have hope when the test on his heart came back fairly healthy considering what he had been through. His kidney and liver function was quite good also. They said to protect the body, when their is lack of oxygen, it will usually affect the other organs before it affects the brain. We prayed this was the case and that because the other organs were looking good that that meant our sons brain was ok and he would eventually wake up. Please wake up Parker. Please wake up!!!
I hated not being able to see his beautiful blue eyes. I hated not hearing him trying to talk and saying all the words he knew. I hated not seeing him running around and having to hold him by his belt loops to keep him from running around rampant. I hated not seeing his happy smile and him talking to everyone in sight and trying to make other happy. I hated just seeing him lay there. I hated seeing his body all puffy from all the fluids in his body. I hated him not responding. I hated that I never heard him say "I love you Mom!"... Please wake up Parker!!!
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